Vagabond

August 31, 2016

Vagabond, in Finnish kulkuri, translates into the one that moves on, the one that walks and travels. Last years in my life I have felt like a vagabond, traveled, moved on and walked from one life situation, one country, one community to another. My horoscope sign is the Piscies that associates strongly with flowing water and moving between different worlds. The element of water is ever moving, free of stagnancy - in fact you really can't stop the water. My Guatemalan Mayan sign is The Road that speaks to itself. Most of my power animals associates with water as well, the first one of them being Moose that’s some key characteristics are endurance, connection with waters of life and being able to journey between deepest depths and brightest surface of life for those who can’t. Yes, I am a kulkuri of life.

 

It was quite obvious that first I ran away from things that I did not want to face. I searched from far the treasures that were near to me and I looked outside for the gifts that were all within.

I laughed and loved a lot on the way but I also did cry many times, felt homeless, rootless, didn’t know what to do or where to belong.

My inner restlessness projected into my outer world.

 

Nothing felt satisfying enough and I punished myself about it

But once I accepted myself as a restless vagabond, peace fell upon my heart

I understood that I was on a mission

Mission to collect all the pieces together

To become whole

To remember

 

I went places that I needed to remember

I learned things that I simply had forgotten

I knew that every step that I took was a step that I needed to take

Every person that I met was a guru that I needed to meet

Every word and teaching was something that I had to hear

to remember my Source.

All that to see the whole picture

 To use all the colors of my creation

Remember what it is to be.

Creatively.

 

I educated myself

Learned from the greatest teachers

Sometimes it being a flower,

falling rain

or a dragonfly

Sometimes a shaman in the jungle

a dear friend

or Buddha

 

I learned to love

Unconditionally

 

I learned to become part of community and belong

I learned to leave the community

I learned to release things that I loved from the bottom of my heart

Over and over again

 

I learned that nothing is permanent

Everything is ever changing

Surrendering made it a lot easier to let go

Trust replaced fear

 

Sometimes I asked myself

Why do I move on again?

Why do I do this if it hurts so much to leave?

 

I was on a mission

To find home within

And once I came back to my true home

I never left again

 

One look in the sky

One moment barefoot on grass

One grateful eye contact

One breath in the forest

One feather on my pathway

One drop of the water on my face

One hug to feel the heartbeat

Was enough to take me back home.

 

I don’t run away anymore

I walk towards

In stillness the vagabond keeps moving

Having found the center of the cyclone

Walking in peace on Earth

Experiencing ordinary miracles

from day to day

from breath to breath

 

Ever learning

Ever remembering

 Happy

Loved

Whole

 

 

 

 

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