Vagabond, in Finnish kulkuri, translates into the one that moves on, the one that walks and travels. Last years in my life I have felt like a vagabond, traveled, moved on and walked from one life situation, one country, one community to another. My horoscope sign is the Piscies that associates strongly with flowing water and moving between different worlds. The element of water is ever moving, free of stagnancy - in fact you really can't stop the water. My Guatemalan Mayan sign is The Road that speaks to itself. Most of my power animals associates with water as well, the first one of them being Moose that’s some key characteristics are endurance, connection with waters of life and being able to journey between deepest depths and brightest surface of life for those who can’t. Yes, I am a kulkuri of life.
It was quite obvious that first I ran away from things that I did not want to face. I searched from far the treasures that were near to me and I looked outside for the gifts that were all within.
I laughed and loved a lot on the way but I also did cry many times, felt homeless, rootless, didn’t know what to do or where to belong.
My inner restlessness projected into my outer world.
Nothing felt satisfying enough and I punished myself about it
But once I accepted myself as a restless vagabond, peace fell upon my heart
I understood that I was on a mission
Mission to collect all the pieces together
To become whole
I went places that I needed to remember
I learned things that I simply had forgotten
I knew that every step that I took was a step that I needed to take
Every person that I met was a guru that I needed to meet
Every word and teaching was something that I had to hear
to remember my Source.
All that to see the whole picture
To use all the colors of my creation
Remember what it is to be.
I educated myself
Learned from the greatest teachers
Sometimes it being a flower,
or a dragonfly
Sometimes a shaman in the jungle
a dear friend
I learned to love
I learned to become part of community and belong
I learned to leave the community
I learned to release things that I loved from the bottom of my heart
Over and over again
I learned that nothing is permanent
Everything is ever changing
Surrendering made it a lot easier to let go
Trust replaced fear
Sometimes I asked myself
Why do I move on again?
Why do I do this if it hurts so much to leave?
I was on a mission
To find home within
And once I came back to my true home
I never left again
One look in the sky
One moment barefoot on grass
One grateful eye contact
One breath in the forest
One feather on my pathway
One drop of the water on my face
One hug to feel the heartbeat
Was enough to take me back home.
I don’t run away anymore
I walk towards
In stillness the vagabond keeps moving
Having found the center of the cyclone
Walking in peace on Earth
Experiencing ordinary miracles
from day to day
from breath to breath