To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten –Rainbow songs
Yesterday I was struggling. I picked up confusing energies from someone I love and it threw my emotional stability out of balance. That happens sometimes but only when there is something to be learned out of it. I found out that it was a call for trust. Trust on making right decisions and rely on my self-esteem that I had second-guessed. But more than anything else my emotional “dis-ease” was a call for trusting on unconditional love.
In our daily relationships with people as well as society love is often demonstrated as a conditional emotion. I am accepted if I follow the rules. You love and accept me if I am a good friend and do the right thing. I love you because you always share your food with others. I think that even though love is a powerful energy, based on only certain conditions its foundation comes from a fear. Have you ever exaggerated your story because you were afraid of not being accepted (= loved) otherwise? You might have not lied but did you cut something out from your story because the truth would have been too much for someone you cared about? Have you tried to look like something because you were afraid of not been enough with your natural appearance? I am only asking because I have done all of these things above. These are all symptoms of the conditional love either towards myself or someone else. Unconditional love instead needs no because ofs. It is valid regardless of condition and it has no expiry date.
Do I think that I am unconditionally lovable then? There is something to be said about self-love and its connotations that too often hold a negative reputation. For example isn’t it funny how a word selfless is known as a positive quality even though it literally means without self. How can I ever love anyone if I am not taking into account myself? Self-love should not be confused to narcissism where someone is abusing others for own good. Instead, self-love is the greatest healing power and a foundation of self-esteem. In other words, self-esteem is an expression of love and without it I feel worthless and weak.
Perfectionism is a great example of not loving oneself unconditionally and it is what I “suffered” from in past. I only accepted myself if my performance was perfect. Bullshit! I now understand that I don’t truly respect myself if I let myself to be filled with fears of failure. It is extremely difficult to be lovable if I am carrying fears, negativity, jealousy or hatred within me. Glowing out unconditional self-love I am also sending love out towards others and again invite it to come back to me in return. When I truly love myself, it is a lot easier for other people to love me as well. Another simple law of the Universe.
But do I love unconditionally others? Forgiveness and compassion are the two most important tools of unconditional love. For example, healing of an emotional damage such a painful experience in past that stands on the way of ability to love, lays nowhere else than on forgiveness and compassion. Carrying anger or hatred towards someone who “deserves” it only harms myself. If I truly love and respect myself, I am able to forgive others and release the negative experiences from my cell tissues and mind offering room for healing and empowerment.
Through self-respect and confidence, compassion and forgiveness I can act out all the power that my heart-center holds and spread it out as an unconditional love. I also don’t believe there is only one person that we are supposed to love during our lifetime. I believe that it is the same love that I send out for a stranger in the street by smiling that I am exchanging when hugging my significant other. For me, it is the same love but only expressed in different way. If you think you have never truly loved anyone, stop looking for it now and simply start doing it today. You can start form your neighbor. It is actually a lot of fun.
Someone that I love unconditionally lives over 7000 km away. Someone might call it a free relationship but I don’t need a definition for it, love is enough for me. Unconditional love does not care about kilometers. I have no fear of distrusting because if something happens it happens for a reason. It doesn’t matter if I spend my lifetime with multiple different partners or only one but rather important question is that how love is understood in a relationship. I believe on the freedom of love – love sets people free instead of attaching them to each other. If it is unconditional love, I don’t have to be jealous or try to hold my partner tight next to me. I don’t have to be worried about a thing because I trust on the natural flow of love. That flow does not get stuck for a long on rocks and sticks on the way, it flows with enormous life force merging to the ocean of abundance and joy. It nourishes everything around and creates beauty out of nothing.
Like The Avett Brothers sings: it can lift you up and take you anywhere. Cheers for unconditional love that makes the life a lot more joyful <3